Two Dudes at Starbucks: A Memoir
by Nichole Eaton
I’m an eavesdropper. I don’t mean to be. I'm just super observant. I don’t always do it. But I do think that conversations find me that are meant for me to derive wisdom from and share with you all. So yes, I’m about to share a convo between two complete strangers over the course of this blog.
Why is this Starbucks-based convo significant? Because I was working on my computer at a Clean Juice and experienced two women sitting behind me loudly complaining about their jobs. I could feel myself get a little irritated or anxious. So, I slid over to a different seat and shifted into overhearing a couple arguing about his pain-in-the-butt mother. Ok, ok eavesdropping isn’t my best personality trait but in my defense, they were loud.
So, I chugged $10 worth of clean juice and went next door to Starbucks. I pulled out my computer and two men sat down next to me. Now, I have to be honest. I was already a little annoyed. Mostly, because, I like my personal space, especially when I work. Not to mention, I just escaped a juice bar with minimal energetic scars from an emotional dump sesh minutes prior.
Fast forward to their convo: They grab their mocha-whatevers and start catching up. I have to tell you what came out of their mouths was PURE love, ya’ll. Over the course of the next hour, and through my earbuds, I overheard glimpses of two men talking genuinely about joy. Discussing their appreciation for how one another shows up in their life and other people they love and appreciate. They discussed how wonderful the women in their life are. They talked about positive times in the past and what they were most looking forward to in the future.
Now this is the really important part because this wasn’t your typical fake nice convo. It was genuine. It was raw. It was real. And it was honest. Oh, and it's still going on. It was clear to me that you don't have to only be talking about joy to maintain the integrity of love in a conversation. This was apparent in the moment the one man asked for help in one area of his life, not by complaining but by gently posing the option for the other man to speak love and wisdom over his situation. Without judgment, the other man replied a response of pure love and support. Sharing a time in his life he also struggled.
What would your day be like if you approached conversations and friendships in this manner? What I was reminded of from these two dudes was this:
1. Focus on what you appreciate about the people around you and tell them. Remind people around you of how great they are. Text a friend right now or someone in your life and let them know how much you appreciate them.
2. Talk positively about the people who aren’t in the room. Even if you are frustrated, find talking points about the ways you love people or people who light up your world.
3. Genuine connection doesn’t always look like speaking solely about the positive, but holding love means acknowledging struggle without allowing it to engulf the conversation or the people in the conversation. Invite in wisdom without allowing the struggle to take over the conversation.
4. Approach all conversations with a surplus of love. It’s felt by even perfect strangers. I mean, they may write a blog about you, but it will positively impact them.
5. Be mindful of what you are speaking into existence. What you are speaking into existence? Be mindful of the energy of the conversation and what it is bringing into your life and the life of other?. Share the good vibes.
6. Do all things with your heart and operate from your highest personal expression, not who you think other people want you to be.
So, if you're out and about and happen to drop in to catch up with an old friend at Starbucks explore how you might be most like these two dudes. Speak love. Speak kindness. Spread the good vibes.