20 Things to Give Up in 2020
by Nichole Eaton
Every year I create a long to-do list with all of the things, experiences, habits, and goals I'd like to add. This year I'm shifting my focus to what can I get rid of. Here's a list of 20 things to consider giving up this year for a healthier, happier, more successful year.
- Excuses. "I don't have enough time," "I'm too _______," "I'll do it when life isn't so crazy!" Excuses stall us from taking important steps to reaching our personal goals and potential. They release responsibility, keeping us stuck. Be mindful to catch yourself in your excuses. Is it that you don't have time or is it simply not a priority?
- Giving up on yourself. The mirror in my home gym boasts, "Don't quit on yourself." Every time I'm pushing towards a goal and it gets a little challenging, I repeat this to myself. You're worth pushing a little harder for whether its the gym, furthering your education, a relationship, or your overall well-being. Be intentional this year about pushing through the hard moments. Rewards await you on the other side.
- Unrealistic expectations. I'm all for big dreams! When I was 8, I was certain I was the next Mariah Carey. However, while we push towards massive goals, it's vital we do a double check of our expectations. Are your expectations of when you will feel content or successful too far "out there?" Getting clear on what we expect out of ourselves is useful for building self esteem. Creating unreachable expectations sets you up for failure and lowers positive feelings about yourself. Find balance in your day-to-day by double checking or implementing accessible goals.
- Being anywhere but here. Look, this very moment is all you have. You can’t change the past. You can’t go structure the future. But you can make the most of this present moment. Placing your mental energy anywhere else will never serve you. Enjoy the people, places, and experiences directly in front of you. Feeling distracted? Bring your energy into the present moment by incorporating your 5 senses. What do you see? What do you hear? What do you smell?
- Complaining. This year we are replacing complaints with appreciation. It's okay to vent. It's not okay to find something wrong with every detail of your life. You will always get what you look for. Begin shifting your attention to the places, people, and experiences that bring you joy. Create a list of what you appreciate in your life.
- Chronic consuming. Are you buying coffee when you could make it at home? Being mindful of our daily consumption as well as what companies are utilizing conscious and ethical practices, can change your life and our world. Cut down your use this year on items you don’t actually need. Recycle. Reuse. Refurbish.
- Blaming others. 2020 is the year of getting a grip on your power which means taking responsibility for your own bullshit. Stop playing victim to your circumstances and make a change in your life. Take your power back by identifying what ways YOU are contributing to the situation. "Its not your fault if you're fucked up, it's your fault if you stay fucked up." - Jen Sincero, You Are a Badass
- Being too serious. Life is meant to be fun. Seriousness detracts from our authenticity. Laugh, play, and be stupid. Give yourself permission to allow more silliness, dance parties, terrible drawings, and karaoke into your world.
- Emotional Coldness. I'm not sure how we've morphed into a culture requiring us to pretend we are without emotion, but in many ways we have. Recognize where you are walled up or not letting people in. Practice vulnerability and telling your truth. When you are intentional about creating warmth and opening up, you will find it returns to you.
- Playing it safe. Good news! You can play it safe when you're dead. You don't know how much time you have left. Do you feel like wasting one more year NOT doing it because you're scared? Do all the things. See it all. Start that book. Text that person. Join that group. Try something new. I double dog dare you!
- Toxic People. If someone chronically makes you second guess yourself, puts you down, or has nothing nice to say, think twice before you hang out with them. Take a solid inventory of the people in your life. Who makes you feel light and free? Who pushes you into a better version of yourself? Cheerleaders are what we are doing in 2020. Release toxicity by using the block feature.
- Trying to control everything. The Universe is literally LOLing at you. The minute you realize you truly can't control everything is the moment you set yourself free. Control absorbs SO MUCH mental energy and creates unnecessary anxiety. You can not shape or dictate other peoples behaviors, only yourself so focus on you and only you. Understand and trust the Universe has the blueprint to your life. It's all good my friends. If your control-freak nature still needs something to fixate on, work on controlling being present. Control your happiness by creating opportunities for joy.
- Lack of focus. Are you wasting a lot of time on social media, or thinking of a challenging situation, instead of actively pursuing your dreams? Track your day and time. Where is your energy going? What would you rather be doing? Refocus on tasks, experiences, and intentions that initiate feelings of well-being and success. Sit down and ask yourself what you truly want.
- Being your fake self. The world needs you to be you, not the people-pleasing, agreeable version of you. We are all wildly flawed, beautiful human beings with unique expressions. You were put here to be you, not a replica of someone else. Learning more about yourself, asking yourself exploratory questions and answering them honestly, gives you a more clear sense of who you are, what you stand for. Tell your truth. Act in your truth. Live in your truth.
- Time on your phone. In the age of constant connection, studies have shown we are lonelier than ever before! In person connections are being disrupted and cut short, by phone distractions. Be intentional to spend less time on your phone. Join in person groups, meetings, activities. Create a sense of communicate in REAL LIFE. I promise, you'll feel significantly better.
- Drinking or Smoking. Drinking and smoking are very fast ways to lower your vibration. I'm all for a good glass of wine in celebration but, create mindfulness about how much you are consuming and your mood or behaviors after. Do you feel anxious and tired the next day? Most people when detoxing from alcohol, even small amounts feel jittery, anxious, or depressed. Ask yourself, does this truly add to my life?
- Gossip. The Little Golden Books would remind us if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it. As adults we've discovered easy bonding over gossiping about others. Reset the standard by being mindful of what you say. Dip out of gossip. If you find someone talking poorly about others, feel free to leave the conversation or even make a point to comment on something you appreciate about that person.
- Over-committing. Did you agree to be on nine different boards and sign your kids up for all the extra curricular activities? Maybe it's time to reassess what's important. Our time is limited. What actually needs to get done and what can wait? What are you taking responsibility for that maybe isn't even your responsibility? What brings you joy and what weighs you down? Reassess.
- Avoidance. In 2020, we are done avoiding the hard things. Maybe you have a mountain of debt you've been shoving off. Maybe you only need a few more credits to get your degree. Maybe you have been wanting to mend a relationship but are scared of how the other person will respond. Take a deep breath, feel the discomfort, and do it anyway. You'll feel so much better when you face it head on.
- Fear of asking for what you want. How, exactly, do you plan on getting what you want if you're afraid to ask for it? Although a promotion, discount, or raise, would be lovely to just show up in our day, most of the time no one is going to just hand it to us. This year, to get what you want, you have to ask! Practice with a friend. Need more alone time? A night without the kids? Better communication? Just ask.
Wishing you all the best in 2020. Need a little more help to make this year the best yet? Check out my latest mini-courses or book a session by e-mailing me at NicholeEaton.Clarity@gmail.com.