Take Up Space and Stop Apologizing for it!

I’ve had a hard time “taking up space” in my life. I think this is something woman are subconsciously programed for and simultaneously guilted for. It is damn near heroic for a woman to put herself last. Give us all the awards, praise, and snickers bars for half-killing ourselves to make sure everyone else is all good. And not that there’s anything wrong with helping, sharing, or at times sacrificing, but with all things there needs to be balance or refill. There needs to be a moment where a woman can be her damn self. 

I realized a few years ago that I was apologizing a lot. After careful studying I noticed what I was really apologizing for, was my existence. For being in the way, for wanting more, for asking too much. The apology slipped out in an automatic way with each request. As if it was a bother to be a human with wants and needs. As if it were a disgrace to be a woman with loaded ambition and big dreams.

So I’ve been processing the last few days. How do we stop apologizing? How do we give ourselves permission to be as full as we can be? How do we stop replaying old schemas and step out of traditionalized roles?

Here’s the mind-blowing part: We just do.

You can apologize when you’ve hurt someone or done something harmful. But do not apologize for being a person with wants and needs. You can respect the viewpoints of others without shrinking your own. You can have people say bad things about you without believing it yourself. You can show up each day and try your damn best, and that truly IS enough.

You are allowed to take up space on this earth. In your job. In your home. In your friend circle. With your significant other. You are allowed to ask for what you want. You are allowed to be expressive, silly, and put yourself first. You are allowed to be in what ever shape, size, or condition you are showing up as.

It starts with permission. Giving yourself permission to be, to exist, and to bask in a full expression of yourself. It starts with saying thank you to a compliment instead of feeling the need to give one back.

You are born to be radiant. You are born to be expressive, vulnerable, and whoever the hell you show up as. Shrinking yourself and playing small serves no one, especially not you.

Now is the time to stop forcing yourself to fit in other people’s molds. To reject what anyone else wants you to be, unless it’s in alignment with your own hopes and dreams. To step up and step out. To speak your mind with love and honesty. You are worth it.

The world needs you, the full you, the bold you, not half of you.