How to Find Your Tribe: Overcoming Insecurity to Make Real Connections

How to find your tribe
I’ve recently moved from a little town in upstate NY to a bigger city right outside of Charlotte, NC. I’m completely enthralled with all of the activities and opportunities floating around but after a night of debating attending black light yoga event solo, I realized I needed and wanted to start making friends. But the reality set in, how do you find your tribe as an adult? I work from home. I have a gym in my home. I basically never have to leave except to go to this great little grocery store I found called LIDL and target, of course.

So, my good friend who has moved many times in her lifetime suggested I join Bumble BFF. This is an app that allows you to connect with other girls in your area, most who also are transplants, so you can make friends.

I like to think of myself as a girl with serious confidence. Not in a cocky, annoying way. I just come from a place of knowing I’m capable (i'm a recovering negative self-talker). If I’m being honest, in joining a make-friends app I had a moment of “am I a desperate, needy loser who can’t make friends in real life?” Should I tat up an “L” on my forehead now or later? I also spent the first half hour “swiping” the wrong way  (i.e. connecting with the people I didn’t intend to connect with --Whoops!)

But the reality is, technology is freaking cool and for those of us unsure of where to start, it’s incredible to connect with people who are also looking to make friends and have a girl’s night! 

However, joining this damn app brought up some questions and some fears. Would people want to be friends with me? Would they swipe right, too? It had been a while since I had the feelings of insecurity in that way but I learned a few things from it:

  1. Not everyone is going to like you and in return you’re not going to like everyone. We aren’t made to match with everyone, we are made to match with the right Our people will always find us if we keep our standards high and our authenticity strong.

  2. You have to like you before others can. I had to soothe any insecurities that were popping up by reminding myself that I’m pretty cool most of the time. This goes for friendships and dating, make sure your personal life is full. What do you like to do? What hobbies do you have? Where are you passionate. Find things that are important to you that fulfill you to the point ofwanting people in your life, not needing them.

  3. Know yourself. I think the fun part that this app did for me is help me get clear on what type of friendships I’m looking for. It’s something that I don’t intentionally think about or focus on. What are you looking for in your life? What types of people do you prefer? When you get clear about what you want the Universe helps you in finding it. I’m a firm believer in that. So, ask yourself those hard questions, explore, play, and clarify.

Whatever the situation whether you’re joining an app or dating. Even if you’re in a new situation with new people, make sure to hold your head high, know who you are and know that anyone would be damn lucky to have you in their life. So set some intentions, open your heart, and invite the right people in, you sparkly, dazzling, awesome person, you!

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